Hate is a Strong Word
by dragonprincess1988
Summary: One of Leo's and Raph's infamous fights gets out of hand when Leo says something a little too harsh.


"I hate you!" The words slip out without a single thought. In fact, Leo doesn't even realize what he said until he sees the wide-eyed stare of disbelief and hurt on Raph's face.

However, his expression quickly shifts into one of furious indignation before Leo can even hope to take back that hateful phrase. "Good, I'm glad that you do." Raph turns to leave, and Leo desperately wants to tell him to wait. He wants to say that he's sorry and that he didn't mean it, but his throat closes up and no sound escapes. Raph practically runs out of the lair and Leo is helpless to stop him.

He doesn't want to turn around and face the other two behind him. Leo knows that they're there, because Donnie and Mikey are always there when his fights with Raph get particularly bad. It's never been like this before...mostly because Leo has never said anything like that before. He doesn't want to see the pained and accusative expressions that he knows he deserves, and he certainly doesn't want to face the possibility that they might hate him for what he's just done.

In the end, it's Mikey's tentative, "Leo?" that makes him turn around, and what he sees nearly crushes him. Mikey is clearly worried, but it's Donnie's expression that nearly kills him.

"Why...why would you say that? I know that Raph can be frustrating, but..." Donnie trails off, evidently at a loss for words. He looks like his world is falling apart, and he knows no way to fix it.

"I...I know. I didn't mean it. I was just so angry. It never should have happened. I'll go find him. Don't worry." Leo is sure that he's the last person that Raph wants to see right now, but he can't let this linger. He knows for a fact that if he does, then this will just fester, because no matter how much Raph is hurting he'll just claim that he's fine.

Leo doesn't wait for a response before he heads out in the same direction that he watched Raph vanish, praying that, for once, Raph stayed in the sewers to run off his pain, but Leo honestly doubts it. After all, if it had been the other way around, Leo would want to be as far away from the lair as possible, and Raph has never been one to stick to where it's safe.

He follows the various pathways through the sewers to his brother's favorite spots. When they were children, Master Splinter would let Raph roam the sewers when he was too angry to be around his brothers, but Leo always followed him, because, even back then, Leo felt as though he had to keep an eye on Raph. Now, that paranoia seems to be paying off. He knows the most likely route his brother has taken, and knows that if he's fast enough he can catch Raph before things can get any worse, though Leo's not really sure how it can.

He honestly doesn't even know why he said it. They've had countless fights before, and never has he even so much as thought the words. Leo still feels like this is all dream…like it wasn't really his mouth that those terrible words had tumbled out of, but he can't get the look on Raph's face out of his mind. He's seen his brother take innumerable physical hits without ever so much as blinking, and yet those three words seemed to cut him deeper than any wound they have ever given each other.

Leo checks Raph's normal spots around the sewers, and isn't surprised that he's nowhere to be found. It's cold out this time of year, but he knows that wouldn't stop Raph, and certainly not after how Leo treated him. He knows that he needs to find his brother fast, before the weather becomes a true deterrent. He heads for the nearest manhole cover and quickly makes his way to the roof tops. Raph doesn't tend to stick to any particular route when he's topside. He could literally be anywhere, but Leo knows from experience that just running around the city aimlessly is useless, so he turns toward the most likely place Raph would go and takes off at a run.

Casey's house is dark when Leo gets there, but he sees two distinctive shapes on the roof and can barely hold back his sigh of relief. It's probably one of the first times Leo has ever been comforted by the fact that Raph runs to his best friend when he can't take being at the lair anymore, though Leo certainly can't blame his brother this time. Leo makes his way over to the two of them, sticking to the shadows, and staying silent. He doesn't really want to startle Raph, and he's pretty sure that if he interrupts the two of them right now, Leo will get his shell handed to him.

He creeps as close as he's willing to get to the two of them, and listens in for the right moment. Casey sighs heavily at whatever Raph just said and nudges his friend with an elbow. "Come on, man. I'm sure it's not that bad. You two fight all the time."

Raph shakes his head, and Leo has to practically bite his tongue to keep himself from making a fool of himself and setting Raph off again. "You don't get it. It's never been like that before. He's never said that he hates me before. I mean, I guess I kind of always knew that he did, but hearing it out loud…"

Raph trails off and Leo has to just about physically stop himself from going to his brother. He can't believe that Raph thinks he meant it. "Dude, come on, siblings say stuff they don't mean all the time. What's the difference? I mean, if you heard some of the stuff my little sister and I call each other, you'd…"

"No, you don't get it!" Raph gets to his feet and starts pacing around the roof, and Leo has to duck behind an air vent to keep from being seen. "This wasn't name calling or busting each other's shells. He said that he hates me, and he meant it. I could see it in his eyes."

"There's no way. He's your brother. He was probably just angry and frustrated, but I refused to believe that Leo hates you. I mean, if he hates you, then he must hate me too."

Raph stops pacing to stare at Casey incredulously. Leo wants to just leave his hiding spot and vehemently deny it - he doesn't hate anyone, with maybe the exception of Shredder - but he can't move…at least not yet. "What are you talking about?"

"We're practically the same, Raph, except I'm obviously better looking." Casey shrugs and his voice is completely nonchalant.

"Nah, I'm definitely better looking. I've got all of my teeth." Leo can see Raph's smirk, and he's grateful that Casey could make his brother feel mildly better.

Casey shakes his head. "Doesn't matter, girls don't really care about that."

Raph laughs and plops down beside Casey once more. "I'm pretty sure April would disagree with you there."

"Wait, did she say something? Does she really only like guys with all their teeth?" Casey's voice boarders on panic, and Leo can't help but laugh. However, it's probably the biggest mistake he's made all evening…well, second biggest. After all, nothing could surpass the first. "Did you hear that?"

They're both on their feet, weapons out, and staring directly at Leo's hiding spot. "Yeah, I heard it." Raph's voice if gruff as he tightens his grip on his sais.

They both inch closer, but Raph makes sure to stay in the shadows, concealing his very obvious turtle form. Leo knows that if he doesn't just reveal himself, then those two will unleash a beating that he really doesn't need right now…no matter how much he may deserve it.

He steps out into the open, and waits for the inevitable anger, but instead he just gets a remorseful glance from Casey as they both sheath their weapons and Casey turns back to Raph. "I'm gonna let you guys talk; besides I should get back inside before my dad or little sister realize I'm gone. Give me a call later, Raph." He disappears down the fire escape and back into his room.

Leo waits for the sound of Casey's window shutting before he speaks. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it."

Raph shrugs. "It's fine. It's no big deal."

He turns to leave, but Leo immediately grabs his arm and forces him to turn back around. "No, it's not fine, and it is a big deal. I never should have said that. I love you. You're my brother, and I'm sorry that I hurt you."

Raph tears his arm out of Leo's grip and backs away. "Leo, enough! I know, okay. I know you only came here because the others made you. I know you're only here to drag me back home, because Master Splinter ordered ya to, so let's just go."

Leo shakes his head in disbelief. He knows he hasn't been the best brother to Raphael, but he didn't honestly believe that he failed this much. "No one made me come get you. I left almost immediately after you did, but it took me some time to determine you weren't in the sewers, though I guess I really should have expected as much. I wanted to stop you from leaving in the first place, but I couldn't find the words to tell you how sorry I was. I was just so angry, but that's no excuse, and I really don't know how to make it up to you. All I can do is promise you that I love you and always will, little brother."

Raph stares at him for a long moment with nothing but an angry frown. After what feels like an eternity, Raph nods. "Fine, you're forgiven, but if you ever say that again, I'm going to smack you so hard, you'll be seeing spots for a week." The only sign that Raph gives Leo that they really are okay and that all is forgiven is the small upturn of his lips.

Leo smiles back and wraps an arm around his brother's shoulders. "You got it. Now, let's go home. I'm freezing."

Raph rolls his eyes and mutters, "Wimp," not quite under his breath, but Leo doesn't miss how Raph's arm snakes around his own shoulders.

"Love you, little brother." Leo leans into the embrace as the two of them slowly make their way to the nearest manhole cover.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it. Now, get a move on. You know, Don is going to be in full-blown mother hen mode by the time we get home."

The smile on Leo's face only grows at the thought. "Yeah, and I wouldn't have it any other way."

The End


End file.
